The Miss E Of Worlds Most Hated (E's for Eerie, not Elated)

No spoilers about the new book so you can read this if you haven't read it yet. And OMG, PLEASE read it because I can't actually deal with being the only person I know who finished it. I'll post a journal to discuss it later but I can't deal with that right now.

"You look like you've been up all night, freebasing Harry Potter." - Eric.

It's true. I look like shit. I've been bawling my eyes out for hours. I haven't slept yet. I'm distraught and delirious and I've taken to clutching my wand or my book and bursting into tears every 20 minutes or so. I snivled to a stop before we went to go see Suspiria in the Hollywood Forever Cemetary but I think its because I'm so bone tired from not having slept in 48 hours and running my emotions ragged reading that I just can't cry anymore. I'm sure I'll freak out again tomorrow.

But let me go back, to 6pm yesterday and a lifetime ago. I stood in the bright, warm sunlight a top the parking structure beside Barnes and Noble, happily waiting to get my wristband in the balmy air. Steve, from tha B-net, caved to my relentless pestering and consented to accompany me on my nerdly journey of giggling anticipation. We nipped a quick bite to eat before ducking in to Barnes and Noble to do all the activities.

I made a choice to come do the big events with the crowd because I'd had so much fun the last book release. I was literally chosen out of all the people who were "sorted" to be the "champion" for Gryffindork (in all my Slytherin stuff, mind you) and won the trivia tournament and a broom and tons of other nonsense. Steve will back me up when I say that, as we were waiting in line, the woman who organized the whole event caught sight of me and said "hey! You're the Slytherin that won last time!"

I am, in fact, Queen Nerd of Nerd Town.

I played in a few trivia challenges but it wasn't as good of a shindig as last time. We went to line up at 10 and I spent the intervening time regailing Steve with stories about high school Ninja attacks and the life and times of Harry Potter. He was a trooper and stayed with me until 1am when, clutching my book in joy, I raced home to begin it.

However, the lovely gentlemen from 2*Sweet were spending the night and my desire to hole up in my room and read was thwarted by their desires to be all around rad dudes and just hang out. We chatted until about 2:30 at which point some of us retired to watch the Harry Potter movies while everyone else slept. While it was awesome to be so revered for my utter nerddom and to have company in Harry Potter love, it slowed my reading immensely. The last book, I finished in 5 hours. This one took about 7. I drifted off to sleep for about 15 minutes but I dragged myself upright and kept on reading. Matt had passed out on my floor but woke up and relocated to the living room, offering me full ability to totally flip out alone and undisturbed.

And I did. I punched the book so hard and so frequently that I have a giant bruise across my knuckles and it hurts to close my fist (or type so feel loved). I thwaped it soundly with my wand like it might rearrange the words. I screamed. I cried. I yelled "NO NO NO NO NO!" into my pillows so as not to wake my slumbering household. And when I got to the end, I put it down and bawled my fucking eyes out. When everyone came in to check on me at 10am, I was pretty much a mess.

But even with an additional 2 hours on my normal reading time, plus a late start, plus the time difference to the east coast and Europe, none of my friends had finished it. So I was left to agonize on my own.

Jeffree, in his eternal awesomeness, treated me to Pinkberry with the 2*Sweet guys before they left for SF. He returned me to the apartment and bade me to sleep but I was too overwrought to just pass out. And with my best friend's birthday weekend upon me, I had no time to sleep. Instead, I wiped off all the traces of my tears and headed over to my two biffles. I tried not to bawl too hard and instead curled up on the couch to watch mobster movies before heading to the cemetary.

I am so exhausted that I haven't even processed this is the last book. It haven't even processed the deaths of the characters yet, not really. But the last book? There will be no more book releases, with Marauders Maps of Barnes and Noble and little kids adorably dressed like Harry, Harry, and Harry. No new tales to await, no feverish debates over what will happpen next, no arguing for my dearly beloved Prince, who I will always stand by. I honestly feel like I've lost a friend. These books have been a huge part of my life for years. Its awful. Its truly, truly awful.

The book was grand and I loved it. I'm happy to have it and have everything be complete. But I can honestly say that it is so depressing just to know that the series is finally done. As totally nerdy and lame as it is, they are books that mean a lot to me and that I love. When I wake up tomorrow and truly process that its over, I'm going to be bawling all over again. I'm sure some of you feel the same so lets have a moment of silence for the end of a truly beautiful thing. Today was the end of an era.

In Memoriam,
   Miss E (Death Eater, Slytherin, and Proud Nerd-to-the-Hilt)